Find My Own Way
by narutogirl17
Summary: Blamed for death of her mother, Belle Marie must leave her hometown at the tender age of sixteen. Will she fail at beginning a new life or will everything work out for the best?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue 

I flinched when I heard the door slam upstairs. This has been going on for a week now; the fear, the loneliness, the pain. The fear came from the thought that I was going to lose my mind. The loneliness stemmed from the fact that talkin' to myself wasn't going to cut it. The pain, well, that came from sittin' on my ass for so long with no chance of movin'. I know me talking like this seems odd but really, you can't blame me. Everyone's different. I know that 99% of the human population would be screamin' their heads off. But that's not me. I have been plannin' my escape since day one and we all know that requires patience and calm. Although a trickle of fear slivers down my spine as the sound of the deadbolt clicks on the basement door and heavy footsteps sound on the stairs, I steel myself for possibly the hardest night of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1: How?

Bella Pov

Hot, sunny, dry, beautiful, and serene; these are all the things that describe Texas, in my opinion. Some people may have a long list and others might have just one word to sum up what Texas means to them. But that's it for me; those five words describe my homeland perfectly. I can't think of five better words as I woke up every day to the sound of the rooster crowin' outside my window. Even when the clouds billowed and blew with thunder and high winds that could blow you right of your feet, all I saw was beauty refined. Now I can imagine that as I tell you this story of mine that you will wonder if I will ever think of Texas the same way again. There is no right or wrong answer to that question. On one hand I will miss it terribly. The southern cookin' and the mere vastness of it, the sun risin' and settin' behind the mountains, throwin' color everywhere. But on the other hand, the pain and loss is too much for one person to bear. My mother and I were joined at the hip so badly that the neighbors would say that we were practically sisters. It was an appropriate term seeing that we did everything together; cookin', chores, cleanin', ridin' the horses. We were truly mother and daughter, sharing our secrets and gigglin' about boys. My father was always at work so it was always the two of us in the house.

It was the three months after my sixteenth birthday that my mother had fallen ill with some kind of foreign disease. Well, it was to me since Mom didn't tell me what it was. Maybe it was because she didn't want to worry but I knew they knew though. I would hear them talkin' about it sometimes when my Dad sat with her to feed her since she couldn't do it herself. But regardless, I did everythin' that I could to help. It wasn't enough and eventually, it chalked up to her being bedridden for about a month. During the last few days of that month, we were surprised that the color had started to come to her face. As the day continued on, she started laughin' and occasionally getting' up and walkin' around again. Dad and I were so relieved but it was also around that time that I had found out from my Dad that my Mom had gotten sick because of me. I had done somethin' wrong and he just lost it, telling me my birth had almost killed her to begin with and that they had fixed her up it had come back frequently as I grew up. It had stopped when I was eight and return. I realized that that was the first that I had seen it and had understood what was happening. My Dad had started to act differently because of it and my Mom didn't notice. He ignored me or would glare at me hard enough to make me feel uncomfortable. That was a shock to my system to say the least but I looked on the bright side and had felt a lot better knowin' that she was going to be okay. My mother and I got back into our old routine; talkin' and laughin' with each other but I guess it goes without sayin' that not all good things last.

There came a day, two weeks later, when my Mom had gotten home from the store, coughin' relentlessly. I was scared and had immediately got up to get her medicine that my Dad had put in the bathroom the week after Mom's health started lookin' up. As I closed the medicine cabinet, I happened to notice that the bathroom window was open, the hot afternoon air blowin' the curtains like sails on a ship. I had closed it quickly, hopin' that my Dad hadn't seen it yet. See, I had a boyfriend named Brian that I had met before my Mom had gotten sick. He was sweet guy, through and through. He truly cared for me, teachin' me guitar when he found out that I could sing and how to ride on his father's farm. When my Mom got sick, he wanted to help but had stayed away when she fell ill because my Dad didn't like him very much. My mother adored him though. We had wanted to start getting' together again but couldn't because of said father. I had deliberately broken the latch on the window to stop my Dad from lockin' it. He hadn't noticed it yet so I had taken the opportunity to sneak out the night before yesterday, after dinner. We had walked to the lake and he lay down a blanket that he had brought. We sat talked about what he had missed but that was over quickly being that I didn't really want to talk it. Soon we were layin' back, watchin' the stars and pointin' at odd shapes the stars made and laughin'. When it started to get late, he walked with me back to my house. I had seen him the next mornin' before I did my daily chores. Shaking my head, I frowned. I was sure that I had closed it before I went to sleep.

Brushin' it off, I walked back into the living room area where Mom was sittin' in the rockin' chair where she used to knit. I stopped in my tracks when I saw Dad walk in from the kitchen area and hand her a glass of water. He saw me and shivers ran down my spine at the glare he gave me. He had come toward me and snatched the bottle from my hand. Ignorin' me, he had kneeled in front of Mom and put the bottle in her mouth then tipped it back. I didn't blame him; even though the medicine was supposed to help you, that didn't mean it had to smell good. I looked out the window at the settin' sun and smiled, glad that there was some kind of happy endin' to this day. That was when he had sprung it on me. Apparently, somebody told him that he seen someone sneakin' out the bathroom window the night before. My mouth dropped open and I had turned my head to stare at him disbelievingly. I didn't have to ask who it was because I knew he automatically meant me. When I saw him glaring at me, I didn't flinch away this time but glared right back. He had told me to clean my room before I could eat dinner which is what he usually does. After that, I was to scrub the bathroom tub and wall tiles, take out the trash, wash the dishes, and feed the horses. I could barely eat I was so tired. My mother sent me to bed before I had taken my fifth bite of chicken and mash potatoes and corn. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

The following argument about was quickly interrupted by my Mom who was twitchin' and frothin' at the mouth. We both rushed forward to help her only to stop as my mother, my best friend, my sister, stopped breathing. A second had passed before I clutched her to me and, cryin' big tears, begged my mother not to leave me. I didn't see as my Dad reached down and picked up the bottle off the floor where it had dropped during the argument. I had asked him what was in the bottle that could have done that to her. I could barely get the words out but it didn't matter because he completely ignored me. He did, however, put it to his nose and smelled. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor. Gradually, I had began to feel the stingin' pain in my right cheek and sucked in a sharp breathe; both from the pain and the realization that my father had hit me. Lookin' up, I flinched as I saw him standin' over me. His face purple and he was yellin'. I mean, I thought he was but I couldn't really tell because of the ringin' in my ears. All I had were my thoughts that were swirlin' round and round like…well, thoughts. But there was one that kept floatin' in front of my eyes.

_'How in the hell did rat poison get into my mother's pills?'_

One month earlier…

Jasper Pov (because we love him!)

I put the bookmark in the Civil War book that I was readin' as I heard the stompin' comin' up the stairs and felt the angry and desperate emotions. I had just turned in my chair just as an angry pixie made her way through my doorway and stood by my window. I sighed internally. _"Here we go again.' _I thought.

"Jazzy?" The infernal voice said. I sighed again at her attempt to get to me with her innocent act. But lately, it's been getting' tiresome and it's time to out a stop to it.

"What do you want, Alice?"

She whirled, her mouth half open to talk but then gasped when she saw my eyes. I smirked and heard Edward sigh as she launched into her speech about why she would do this Carlisle, to her.

Her?

It was her fault that I went hunting in the first, with her lust and desperation driving me up the whole. It's been a whole year since me and Edward arrived here and when I had first tried the animal blood, I instantly knew that this was bullshit. But I did it for Carlisle, the man who took me in when I had nowhere to turn. After Peter and Charlotte came back for Edward and me, when we were in Maria's camp, we went nomadic. But after forty years, I got tired of it and decided to leave, find somewhere permanent. I had already perfected my shield even before I left Maria so I could protect. When Edward found out, he told me he was comin'. Now, twenty years later, I decided to make a choice; human…or animal. I, of course, chose human but I only fed off of the dregs of society like Peter and Charlotte. That had been two weeks past. When I went huntin' a few hours ago, I had come across a man with a particular set of emotions; lust, eagerness and desperation. At first, I thought he was headed home to his wife or girlfriend. It was when I peeked into his window that I saw the pictures on his wall. Children, no less than twelve years old, were pinned to his walls. I decided to make a house call. I didn't bother knockin' as I kicked the door down and lungin' for him. I pinned him against the wall and gave him the scare of his life before I ended it. Lucky for me, his blood wasn't tainted by alcohol of any kind so it was pure. Add to that the adrenaline coursing through his blood when he saw me and you've got a well-fed vampire. I had originally hoped that Carlisle wouldn't mind but in the end, it didn't matter. If he considers me a son like he says, what I choose to fed from shouldn't bother him.

I lay back in the seat and teasin'ly, I lowered my shield and thought of what I wanted to do with her wardrobe. She felt shock and fear before I put it back up, keepin' my face neutral as she looked at me. On the inside though, I was laughin' up a storm. How could she think that I even had an inkling of interest in her? When I saw her the first time I stepped over that threshold, I had smelled the blood stains that were on Carlisle's work coat. He must have walked through the living area with it on. I later found out that he worked at the local hospital. While I didn't understand, I respected him for not losing his mind at the smell of that much blood in front of him. I didn't know his story then but I do now.

"Why do I keep getting flashes of you and then it goes black?" She demanded.

"I really don't know Alice but I would highly suggest that you keep your nose out of people's business. Sooner or later, you won't like what you find." I warned her as I got up and went downstairs. Edward was on the piano again, fingerin' the keys as I walked past but I could see the smirk that was on his face. I lowered my shield the tiniest bit and 'spoke' to Edward.

_'Feel like going on a huntin' trip, Lieutenant?' _

When he heard me, he got up and walked to stand next to me. No one knows about me and Edward's past except for Peter and his mate, Charlotte and, of course, Edward and I. We had built a front that Edward, Peter and I were basically brothers in everythin' but blood. While we under Maria's rule, we were the best motherfuckers around; The Major, The Captain, and the Lieutenant. No body tested us, no one challenged us. It was a good thing if you wanted to survive in that hellhole. But everything coma to a stop when Maria threatened Charlotte and the only thing I can say is that Peter lost it. Like literally, he lost his rational mind to the darker part of himself. The Captain tore the Bitch apart. That left Charlotte, Edward and I to kill the remaining newborns and burn the camp to the ground. When we were done, there was nothing left.

I came out of my thoughts just as Carlisle came downstairs. I sighed as I saw Alice behind him. She must have told him about my eye color but from the way his emotions were, he was just a little concerned. He came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder as he looked me dead in the eyes. Again, there was no disgust or disappointment. I glanced at Alice and she had her arms crossed, a glazed look on her face. I don't even know why she tried lookin'; my shield prevents her from seeing anythin' concernin' me.

"Son, are you okay? Alice told me what had happened."

I furrowed my brow, instantly defensive. I didn't mean to be but it was like a reflex. Whenever I think that someone is tellin' me that I can't handle somethin', this is what happens. I guess I should expect it, though. Nobody knew, until now, that Edward and I had been mixin' animal blood with human blood. We fed off the humans first before covering up the red color with the gold that comes from an animal diet. That's why we only take huntin' trips no less than three times a month. Everybody thinks that we have impeccable control but really, we are just drinkin' from our natural food source. I decided to forgo the animal blood because I didn't feel like hidin' who I am anymore. Edward agreed with me but hadn't come to the decision whether or not he wanted to follow me.

"What do you mean, Carlisle? I'm perfectly fine." I said with an edge of anger in my tone. Carlisle noticed this and smiled, shakin' his head.

"You misunderstand me, Jasper. I mean to say that Alice has said that she's you drainin' a human girl."

I turned to Alice who, conveniently, has disappeared. I smiled at Carlisle and sent him some genuine sincerity. "Carlisle, I assure you that I will not attack anyone durin' my trip. I will only do so if that person is the scum of society. That is how I feed. I will never feed on an innocent, you know that."

"Yes well, I just wanted to make you were okay. What Alice has told me had given some cause for concern, you understand?" He said. I nodded and he started back toward the stairs. At the top step, he turned and said, laughin', "Have fun."

I felt Edward's amusement as I waved goodbye and ran out the door, my Lieutenant on my heels.

Alice Pov

I watched Jasper and Edward go with renewed anger. Why all of a sudden did Jasper talk like that to me? He never used to. I remember when I saw him walk through the front door and his eyes blackened form lust when he saw me. I had my eyes on Edward because he had less scars but he had no interest in me, no matter how hard I tried. In the end, I turned to Jasper only to get turned away like a piece of trash. Regardless, I couldn't help but smile as I thought of my hired men. I hope they got the job done.


	3. Chapter 3

Belle Pov

Sittin' in a truck for three hours really messes with a person's head, especially if they're hungry and have no clue where they are. I had so hoped to go further but the stupid truck had started sputterin' about half a day north so now I'm stuck here. I'm cold and as night approaches, the increasin' wind makes me colder. The air smells of the smoke that comes from the pit of fire that I doused. My stomach growls and I clutch it, whimperin'. I haven't eaten anythin' since I left the nightmare of a house. The only thing I have is a gallon of water that my mother had left in the bed of the truck. I had sent a profound thank-you when I found it along with a teary apology that she died the way she did.

I still hadn't figured out how the rat poison had gotten into her medicine bottle and the only thing that I could come up with was that someone had slipped in and out through the window. The window whose latch I had broken because I wanted to see my boyfriend. I cried as I drove, almost crashin' into a tree when my vision turned blurry with all the tears. I cried for my stupidity, my life that I had to leave behind because my father wanted to kill me. I had considered tryin' to stay with my neighbors but when I thought of how angry my father had been, I shied away from it. I didn't want to cause any trouble for anybody and I certainly didn't want to see Brian again. I didn't blame him in the slightest; it's my fault for breakin' the latch, my fault that my mother is dead. It would just bring back memories I cried some more now, the feelings overwhelming me and fell into a fitful sleep.

_I walked through a house feelin' like I've been there before. As I tried to remember, it kept escapin' me. A rattle in the kitchen made me jump and curiosity got the better of me as I walked toward the sound. _

_"Hello?" I called out. No answer. _

_I called again. _

_Again, nothing happened except the sound got louder. There was a door that stood in front of me and behind it, I could hear the noises. I pushed it open and gasped out of instinct…_

_A chicken rushed past me, cluckin' its head off. I sighed in relief. I looked around for anything else but saw nothing. I turned to go back out the door only to come face-to-face with the double barrel of a shotgun. There was a click…_

I shot up in the truck and I looked around franticly. There was a flash of headlights and I ducked back down, hopin' the driver hadn't seen me. The roar of the engine faded away and I peeked over the dashboard just to make sure it was gone. When I didn't anything, I sighed in relief. Well, at least I know I'm near a road now and that's better than nothin'. I got out carefully, mindin' my feet on any sharp rocks and reached into the back to grab the jug of water. Holdin' it like a chicken, I started walkin' to where I heard the truck. It was maybe five minutes later that I came to a long stretch of hard asphalt. There was a yellow line in the middle of it and, as I looked up the other side, I was surprised to a black truck parked on the side of the road. It must have been the truck I heard earlier.

Walkin' toward it, I chanced a look into the window and cursed when I didn't see the keys. This person must be on a hike or somethin'. Don't know what their lookin' for but I do know what they will be lookin' for; their lost truck if I can find the keys. I made my way to the bed of the truck where things in white plastic bags could be seen. I jumped in and started rummagin' through them. Finding bread in a plastic bag, I immediately opened and started shovin' it into my mouth, groanin' with pleasure. I was so hungry! I felt a little guilty that I was probably eatin' somebody else's food but my stomach certainly didn't.

Wrappers and cartons surrounded me as I lay in the back of the truck. I was so full, I could barely move. But I had to if I wanted to get outta here so I rolled to the side and pulled myself to a kneelin' position. I reached my hand out toward the back of the cab and I tried to pull myself up to stand but my hand slipped and slid down the little window. I heard a faint click and then window opened slightly. As I stared in shock at the window, the wind picked up and I shivered. I pushed it open and wiggled though. When I reached back to close the window, I heard the pitter-patter of rain. The wind howled through the silence inside the truck as I started my search for the keys, prayin' that they didn't take it with them.

_'They have to be here somewhere.'_ I thought.

I opened the compartment under the dashboard.

Nothin'.

I explored the console in the middle of the seats.

Nothin'.

Under the driver's and passengers' seat.

Again, nothin'.

I groaned in frustration. The weather when along with my mood as it started to get dark and it rained harder. I threw myself back into the key hunt. It was as I was lookin' through the pockets at the back of the seats that I hit me. Like literally, it hit me on the back and I sat up. Rubbin' the spot, I picked up the keys of the driver's seat.

_'Where did they come from?'_

I looked up and noticed the visor that keeps the sun out of your eyes…it was open. I sighed, feelin' pretty stupid. I shook my head as I sat there goin' through the keys one by one. The last one went in and when I turned it, the engine turned over.

"Whoooo!" I exclaimed over the engine. It quieted to a low rumble and I sighed in relief when the hot air fanned over my face. Breathin' deeply, I put the truck in drive and hit the gas petal.

Back in Forks… (Remember that this is earlier!)

**Edward Pov**

I couldn't believe the thought that were goin' through the Pixie's head when I read her thoughts. She actually thought she had a chance with me and Jasper. She looked like a boy! I'm sorry but I like my girls with a little more curve. The first time that she tried to seduce me, I almost passed from the amount of disgust and panic I was feelin'. I literally begged Jasper to put me out of my misery.

A delicious smell wafted under my nose and I couldn't help but growl. Before I knew it, I was lookin' down as ally way as a man brutally beat a girl who was already unconscious. The sight reminded me of my sister, Bonny, who I had to watch die in front of me. I snarled as I imagined my sister in the girls' place. The man looked up and saw me.

_'What the fuck is he doing? Is he growling?'_

I jumped forward, knockin' him away from the girl. I got in his face, makin' sure he could see my eyes, which I'm sure where pitch black because of the scent of blood in the air.

_'Are his eyes black? They were red a minute ago…'_

"My eyes are the least of your problems." I growled. Before he could speak again, I latched on to his neck and began to drink. When he realized what was happenin' the adrenaline started flowin' and that's really got me started. I began to drink deeply, moanin at the pure ambrosia of his blood. His heartbeat stopped just as I finished suckin' the last drop and I sat back, satisfied.

_'Feelin' better, Lieutenant?'_

I whipped around and smirked at Jasper, sendin' him my humor. "Very much so, Major."

"That's good. Red is definitely your color, by the way." He laughed.

I growled playfully and flashed to him, punchin' him in the shoulder. He tried to dodge but no doin'.

_'You actually got a hit in. I'm surprised, Edward. I guess my diet does do wonders.'_

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and started walkin' away, astounded at how the world looked through my eyes. Everything had better color now and I could hear things I would have never heard before. My gift was in overdrive.

_'I wonder what Mom's cooking for dinner.'_

_'Hope the Mariner's win tonight.'_

_'God, she's so sexy. I wonder if she'll go out on a date with me._

I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Jasper asked.

"Nothin', just this guy…" I trailed off as I heard a new voice. This one immediately set me on edge from the darkness I could 'hear' in this person's mind.

_'She lives on Pine Street with her sweet old grandmother. She goes across the street to play with her little friends at around three or four o'clock after school. That's when I offer her a piece of candy and then tell her that I have more in the car. If she doesn't accept it, I just snatch the little bitch up and drive off with her in back seat. It's the perfect plan.'_

I took off toward the voice, vowin' that this would be the last time that this motherfucker would see daylight.


End file.
